The Cannes Film Festival Will Be Streamed on YouPorn?

By Ameera Rosli  •  in News
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source: indiewire.com

It’s no secret that many events and festivals have been either cancelled or postponed due to the Coronavirus pandemic. That means the prestigious and long-awaited Cannes Film Festival, that celebrates lesser known films from around the world, has been postponed as well.

Understandably, movie-goers and cinephiles are upset about this recent development since the love of movies is a love universally shared. However, there is one other thing that is just as globally embraced… porn.

I mean… At least they’re wearing masks? (source: The Sun)

If there’s one thing that has been clearly highlighted during this isolation period, it’s the fact that people are horny. From the upsurge of Coronavirus porn to the alarmingly increasing number of horny tweets and Tik Toks, it is evident that the people are sexually-deprived as helll… And what happens when we can’t see our significant other until the MCO is lifted? Well…

Y’all like this vanilla sh!t? (source: Netflix)

Malaysia has been ranked as one of the highest watchers of porn according to Pornhub’s statistics. Even recently, the movie Fifty Shades Freed was ranked as the most watched movie on Netflix Malaysia. Damn, y’all are really desperate for some action, huh? Go read a book ya nasty!

Korang okay tak? (source: Pornhub)

Swooping in to the rescue, YouPorn has recognized the world’s horniness in this dire time and has offered its platform as the main streaming service for the Cannes Film Festival. Since the festival has never been postponed since 1946, it would be a great loss for it to lose its 73-year streak which is why vice president of YouPorn, Charlie Hughes, emailed Cannes’s president, Pierre Lescure, to offer a helping hand (winks).

source: YouPorn

Hughes emphasises YouPorn’s capability to stream the festival due to its robust infrastructure that is already able to sustain many viewers at a time. The email above even sounds very genuine and heartfelt. It just goes to show that a hero can come from anywhere…

As of now, a response from Cannes is still pending but if all goes well, we’ll have a pretty damn good excuse on why we’re spending so much time on a porn website.

Until then, keep updated with JUICE.

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