Gone are the days of struggling to keep your phone underneath your desk as you try to secretly watch hentai at work. It’s 2019 and we at JUICE don’t want you to feel ashamed for being horny during office hours. Embrace your sexuality… but let us teach you how to do it in a respectful and productive way.
Enter 19+ ASMR. Audible love making has never sounded this good.
Slowly making its way into your Youtube algorithm because of how many interviews of the gorgeous ladies in Blackpink you’ve been binging everyday, this form of ASMR sexiness will get you hot and bothered while being safe for work- if you plug in those earphones, of course. Since it’s readily available on Youtube, you can indulge without having to wait for your pesky VPN to connect.
To get you started, here are some tips for the best times to plug-in:
1. During lunch break
Having lunch alone? Again? Fill that seat and that lonely void in your heart with some steamy tutor-student roleplay. That stale egg sandwich will never taste this spicy again…
2. When your work is piling up
I’m sure there are times where it seems like everyone is just throwing work at you left and right and you can’t help but feel stressed out. Papers are strewn across your desk and you can’t find your favourite damn pen amidst the chaos. Don’t lose your shit. Take a deep breath, sit down, plug in your earphones and let this Korean doctor give you a sexy medical check-up. You’ll feel refreshed in no time!
3. In the middle of a long and tired lecture from your boss
Ah shit, here we go again… Your boss storms into your cubicle with a frown on his face and ketchup on his tattered shirt. You know he’s in a bad mood and you sigh, knowing you’re getting chewed out because of it. He starts yelling at you about mindless things that aren’t even about your work performance. Why put up with it? Why listen? Slowly pull out your phone, open your Youtube app and search for 19+ ASMR. Nothing like soothing sounds of rain and vanilla sex to calm the storm.
4. In a traffic jam on the way home from work
“Bagi lah signal!” you yell at the Myvi that’s trying to merge into your lane during a standstill. Why can’t you just be rich and travel in helicopters already like those Kelantanese? Instead of waging a war in your mind with all the people trying to cut queue at the tol, imagine you’re playing dirty Jenga with your significant other.
5. Taking a sh*t
We all know that cafeteria food can sometimes cause a grumbly stomach. Push through your constipation by relaxing your body with this ASMR bathtub play. Maybe the sounds of water splashing can help you push out that expired burrito you ate for lunch?
With all that said, we hope to relieve your stress with these relaxing ASMR selections. Let us know if you get that bonus at the end of the month or get voted as ‘Most Calm Employee of The Month’! You deserve it <3
Want more weird yet interestingly useful articles? Find them here at JUICE!