Minister Advises Wives To “Ask For Permission” When Speaking To Husbands To Avoid Domestic Abuse

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Source: NST

Taking to social media, Deputy Women, Family and Community Development Minister Datuk Hajah Siti Zailah Mohd Yusoff shared ‘informative’ tips that married couples can follow for a happier marriage.

In one of her videos which invited much controversy, the minister advised to use a more physical approach when resolving differences – suggesting that the wives were to take a soft approach while husbands are advised to use a ‘gentle but firm physical touch’ to teach their stubborn wives.

Don’t just take our word for it, here is a video of her statement.

In her video which was posted just yesterday, Siti Zailah shared, “It is the role of the husband to educate their wives, and the role of the wives to do the same.”

The minister elaborated, “In the instance where the wife does not safeguard her modesty, does not follow God’s commands or does something that the husband does not like… Husbands should advise them.”

But if the wives do not adhere to the advice, the husband can sleep separately for three days, and if things still do not change, a ‘soft’ and physical touch is allowed – “Full of love, which is not painful but shows firmness that the behaviour should change,” she said.

Importance of Intimacy Between Husband and Wife in Islam - Nikah Explorer

This, however, is different from the advice that she has given earlier for women, whereby wives are required to “talk to the husbands when they are calm, full, have finished eating, have prayed and are relaxed.”

“When we want to speak, we ask for permission first,” the minister said.

“Wives should use the softest language so that husbands can accept their criticism. If they get angry, wives should remain silent and not talk back.”

Many were not satisfied with the Deputy Minister’s resolution, with prominent Muslim, female politicians making their stand against the apparent inequality suggested by her.

Among them is Nurul Izzah Anwar. In her tweet, @n_izzah writes, “the pandemic has only seen an increase in domestic abuse with a total of 9,015 cases reported – predominantly against women.”

“This so called ‘advice’ by the Deputy Minister is a disservice and goes against current realities and needs,” she said.


In similar news recently, the Malacca government expressed that wives should not make more money than their husbands.

Malaysians were sceptical about scientific research claiming that husbands would feel less stress in a marriage if the wife works but earns less income than they do.

Debates began on social media after an infographic PSA originally posted on Public Health Malaysia’s Facebook page in 2019 resurfaced online.

Apparently, the PSA was recently reposted by the Melaka state government (Kerajaan Negeri Melaka) Facebook page before it was later removed, but not before people made screenshots of it.

This later prompted Public Health Malaysia to respond to Hannah Yeoh, clarifying that they were not an official government agency besides pointing people out to the original source of the research.

The PSA went on to conclude that husbands were “normally” perceived as the family provider and that, maybe, this income issue was why men are less inclined to find partners with higher financial resources.

What are your thoughts on this?