Penis rings are worn around the case of the penis and sometimes – if you’re wild enough – the testicles to make erections harder, bigger, and longer-lasting.
They come in all types of sizes and materials: silicone, metal, rubber, and even leather. But some people look at any circular object and think, “Anything’s a penis ring if you’re brave enough.”
Yesterday, FMT published a report on a penis ring removal in an intensive care unit.
The account follows fireman Rahmat Senek’s experience from 2018 when he spent 3 hours carefully trying to dismantle the sex toy from the victims penis that had already turned blue from restricted blood flow.
Except, the ring was a modified car bearing. Mans was just down bad.
“In some cases, the ring is from the upper part of a plastic bottle. The harder the material is, the longer it takes to remove it,” said Rahmat, who is with the Sungai Buloh fire and rescue station.
We dug back into some old cases and found out that this isn’t uncommon.
Why are there so many penis ring accidents in Malaysia? According to The Star, 80% of distress calls the fire department receives are for penis ring removals.
The fact of the matter is, men will do anything to get off.
Here are just a few examples…
In 2014, four firefighters were asked to help out at the Hospital Raja Perempuan Zainab II in Kota Bahru when hospital staff were unable to remove a repurposed car spare bearing from the penis of a patient in the emergency room. These car guys gotta stop…
In 2017, one man from Penang suffered for 12 hours due to using a ring-like device from a pool pump as a penis ring. It was latched on for so long that his member started turning black. The firefighters eventually managed to cut it off.
On new year’s day last year, a man was rushed to the Alor Setar Fire and Rescue Station to remove not one, but two rings. The most bizarre part of this story is that the rings were bejewelled – turns out that they were his wife’s rings.
What a way to consummate the marriage with his crowned jewels.
Dr George Lee from The Star gave a graphic description of what would happen at the hospital when a penis ring removal case comes in.
“What we do is that we use a needle to pierce into the penis and we aspirate (draw out) the blood.”
“When we do that, most of the time it will actually deflate the erection and we will be able to wiggle the ring off of the penis,” he explained. He also added that if that doesn’t work, the fire department comes in.
This is why women live longer than men…
So the moral of the story is, if you need a little help in the bedroom, try opting for a proper penis ring instead of whatever makeshift ring you can find around your house and spare us your horror stories.
C’mon, your horny ass can afford to pay RM20.