The Festival Survival Guide: For the Music Fest n00b

By Alif Omar Mahfix  •  in Features
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Image Matt Kahn

Music festivals on the scale of Future Music Festival Asia are not something Malaysians are accustomed to. As purveyor of all things cool and faux-cool, JUICE believes it is our duty to educate you guys on some basic festival survival skills before you brave the harsh outdoors of a music fest.

BASIC SURVIVAL TOOLS

WATER BOTTLES
You need to get hydrated from all that moshing, jumping, and walking around. Hipsters who prefer to stand still and nod their heads half-consciously need not apply.

BOOZE
You need to get boozed up to tolerate hipsters who prefer to stand still and nod their heads half-consciously. Also, to help you get through bad raprock bands if they so happened to perform.

PHARMACEUTICAL AID
If alcohol doesn’t give you the high, get pharmaceutical aid. Anything to lessen the pain of an inevitable brostep set.

HOMIES
No one comes back from a music festival the same way they enter. Keep your homies within the vicinity of your peripheral view. Lose sight of ‘em and risk spending 12 hours completely high off your mind with strangers… who are probably gonna be hipsters.

RAIN PONCHO
In the case of a heavy downpour out of nowhere. A staple problem during music festival is rain, better to be safe than sorry.

FULLY CHARGED MOBILE
The worst thing that could happen to you at a festival is losing your friends who you happened to hitch a ride with and having an uncharged handphone.

FESTIVAL KNOWLEDGE
Know the festival’s layout and itinerary before coming in. You don’t want to miss your favourite band just because you felt adventurous that day.

MUSIC KNOWLEDGE
Know the music acts playing. There’s really no reason for you to walk under the scorching sun for hours on end just because everyone else is doing it when you are only familiar with one act.

PROPHYLACTICS
You never know when you will get lucky.