Ladies, (especially in the Subang area) I’m so sorry to have to tell you but…. Subang men are the worst at online dating (and dating in general)!
The researchers over at an esteemed University, performed a study on the research data of Malaysian Tinder. This study consisted of online questionnaires, focus groups and collection of statistics from the Tinder database. The age of respondents ranged from 18-70. Yes, grandmothers use tinder too!
According to esteemed researcher, Dr. Jenn Aka, she states that the study was done to find the reason behind the swiftly increasing number of single and lonely women in Subang Jaya and its neighbouring districts. This information was substantiated by the upsurge of kitten adoptions and the proliferating number of sold ice-cream and red wine.
When collecting data, the researchers were shocked to find a staggering percentage of men in Subang Jaya were the subject of the women’s woes. When further looked into, researchers were able to provide a numerical description of how Subang men differ greatly from other men.
Below are the objectives of the research and their respective data:
1. To study their level of personal hygiene
By observing the data, it seems that Subang Jaya men have the most difficulty remembering that spraying tons of Dior cologne is not a replacement for a shower.
2. To study their performance at work
The figure above delineates that Subang Jaya men think passing the interview automatically entitles them to a salary and not actually showing up to work. But that’s okay though as long as their communication skills (goreng skills) are top-notch.
3. To study their knowledge in pop culture
This saddens me to announce that Subang Jaya men only know one Quentin Tarantino movie, Pulp Fiction which they claim is a movie for ‘intellectuals only’. And they will never let you forget it.
4. To study the ratio of orgasms of men:orgasms of women
5. To study the relationship between weiner size and the level of douchebaggery
The correlation is significant! According to Pearson’s rule of thumb, there is a direct correlation between the length of their genitalia and the mind-numbing amount of times they must remind you how cool their smoke tricks are like, “Hey babe, look! I can do an O”
Nah, we’re just playing… or are we?
Happy April Fool’s Day!