As a Subang driver, I feel like we get the most rep for being one of the more temperamental stereotypes when it comes to our driving habits. But it got me thinking – what about the other towns?
We joke about Penang drivers and KL drivers, but what does your hometown actually say about your driving habits?
Here’s some stereotypes I’ve seen on the road from my many hours spent in traffic, according to which town you hail from. Fair warning: I’m no expert, and I’m just here to piss people off.
1. Subang Jaya
Before we get into the real dissing, I gotta diss myself first.
What can I say? Subang drivers are arguably the most impatient and reckless of them all. We’re the kings and queens of double parking without leaving our contact information. If there isn’t a parking space, we’ll make our own parking spaces.
Car horns aren’t used as an emergency, it’s a necessity. Road rage is absolutely unreal. A friend once told me that Subang drivers take things too personally. You could be 5 kilometres away from That Uncle Who Cut Into Your Lane, and still be venting about it in your Myvi – and I don’t disagree.
While we do get from point A to point B, it’s not exactly done through the safest ways. Subang drivers are also known to be speed demons, and the speed limit is more of a suggestion. But then again, the same could be said for Malaysians all around.
2. Petaling Jaya
Petaling Jaya drivers are calm on a whole different level. They’re constantly cruising on easy mode and rarely pay attention to what’s happening around them. And when I say rarely, I mean never.
They never signal when switching lanes, and they take forever to do it. It’s as if their side view mirrors don’t even exist and they choose not to see the traffic they’re holding up. This is where the phrase, “Your grandfather’s road” originated from.
They’re probably too busy rerouting on Waze to find the next u-turn they can make after five flyovers to SS-whatever.
I will say though, PJ drivers are really good at parking. I mean, that’s how they were trained with all their tiny parking spaces that seem to only be made for Kelisa’s, yet Vellfire’s are able to fit in with almost zero door-opening space. Keep up the good work, guys.
*applies to Petaling Street, Cheras, Ampang, Bangsar and Hartamas. Other surrounding towns are not mentioned because you’re not relevant enough.
KL drivers have their own set of laws. They don’t signal, and they would rather run over a curb and damage their overpriced paint jobs than slow down for anything.
PSA: If you’re a pedestrian hoping to cross a busy street in KL, I hope you have health insurance.
Don’t drive in KL unless you’re built to fight, because anything could set these guys off. Subang might have the road ragers, but KL has drivers who would step out of the car and insult your mother.
I guess part of that rage comes from driving around those poorly mapped out roads – if you miss a turn you’d have to circle around the whole state to come back to it. Why do you think they’re always squeezing into lanes at the last minute? KL drivers should be licensed barbers for all that cutting.
One good thing I can say for sure though, is that they actually stop at red lights. That’s one rule they abide by. In fact, they like their lights so much that they tend to show it off every once in a while and blind you with their impatient flashing.
4. Shah Alam
I’m not gonna lie, the only thing I know about Shah Alam is the fact that the drivers there are always dizzy, because their roads are made out of one thing and one thing only – roundabouts.
And the funniest thing is, you would think that they’re master manoeuvres when it comes to navigating in the middle of a roundabout. You would think that, wouldn’t you?
Well, you’d be wrong.
For the amount of driving schools located in this district they should be well prepared for the incoming traffic and multitasking it takes to get to the third exit of a loop-de-loop. But no! They come and go as they please and they act like its your fault when they’re right about to T-bone your car.
But surprisingly, their reaction times are pretty quick because of the amount of wild monkeys running across roads there. Or maybe that’s just my experience…
Now, Puchong feels like it’s own civilisation. They have their own malls, their own popular cafes, and their own timezone. And by that I mean that they cannot tell the time if their lives depended on it.
Look at your friend group real quick: the latest person to arrive is always the one from Puchong. Even when they know they have to leave 30 minutes early to be on time, they leave 20 minutes after the actual meeting time.
You can argue that it’s because of the traffic, but honestly that’s their own fault. I’m constantly hearing about Puchong folk complaining about the tolls everywhere, yet they refuse to take toll free roads. Honey, maybe you’re the problem.
And if you’re planning to park in the housing areas, don’t even try. Apparently they book their own spots outside their houses and avoid parking in the lots on their own property. Puchong drivers are the real gatekeepers of the world.
6. BONUS ROUND! Singapore
After dissing all the districts, I thought we could all bond over something in true Malaysian fashion: our mutual hatred towards Singaporean drivers.
I can’t say I completely blame them for this, but they really do act like they’ve never seen a highway in their entire lives. There are too many sidewalks in their well-developed, minuscule country to have one. The highway they interact with the most with is the Johor-Singapore causeway.
They are the ultimate lane hoggers and they signal excessively – yes, there is such a thing. Wake up, Singapore! Here in Malaysia, the speed limit doesn’t apply to the right lane. But you can’t fault them for being overly cautious, it’s extremely pricey to afford a car there (like everything else they have).
However, next time you see a Singaporean driver on the road, look into the driver’s seat. That guy is probably the most stressed out person on the road. And he’s good to have a laugh at while you’re both stuck in the same rush hour traffic.
If you’ve made it to the end of this list and feel like you don’t belong in any of these categories, congratulations! You’re a hypocrite.
We all have bad driving habits, and it’s always entertaining to poke fun at each other. But remember that no matter where you come from, it’s always important to drive responsibly.
And if you’ve got a bone to pick with me, hit me up. I’ll be the rat queen chilling in SS15 talking sh!t about things that don’t matter. Drive safe!