10 Tongue-In-Cheek Father’s Day Gift Ideas For People With Daddy Issues

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by JUICE illustrator, Emily Shahira

Ah, the nuanced labyrinth of daddy issues. It’s a delicate dance that calls for dexterity, levity, and perhaps some minor therapy. Fear not, however, my fellow children in distress; we have compiled a list of absurdly twisted Father’s Day gift suggestions that will have you giggling and nodding in agreement.

Disclaimer: This article is meant for light-hearted entertainment purposes only. It is not intended to hurt, offend, or trivialise anyone’s experiences or emotions. If you are dealing with mental health issues or trauma, we encourage you to seek appropriate help and support.

1. “The Absentee Clock”

iStock image

Give him a clock so he can keep track of the amount of time he doesn’t spend with you. It’s the perfect reminder of those precious moments you’ve missed together.

2. Personalised World’s ‘Okayest’ Dad Mug

source: Amazon

Celebrate his mediocrity with a mug that proudly proclaims his “okay” status. It’s a humorous reminder that perfection is overrated.

These mugs are pretty easy to find online, and if that doesn’t scream solidarity to you, I don’t know what will.

3. Dad’s DIY Instruction Manual

source: LearnWoo

Playfully acknowledge the lack of guidance with a whimsical manual full of hilarious blank pages for him to fill. If he’d taught you how to fix your tires like every other dad, you wouldn’t have been stranded at the side of the road that one time, right?

4. DNA Test Kit for Pets

source: The NY Times

Why does he love the family dog more than he loves you? He didn’t even want a pet in the first place??

5. Trophy for Mastering the ‘Selective Hearing’ Technique

Adobe stock image

Celebrate his selective hearing skills with a trophy that acknowledges his ability to tune out certain conversations. He heard you mutter under your breath after an argument but can’t seem to hear his phone ring when you need him most.

6. A see-saw set

source: IndiaMART

To remind him of his acts of inequality and favouritism among you and your siblings. Every. Time. He. Steps. Outside.

7. Simply text him your home address

source: Stripes Korea

Maybe he genuinely got lost on the way back from buying milk from the store back in 2017?

8. A personalised translation book

The catch? The book only teaches your dad how to say “Sorry” in every possible language. Maybe he’s a more apologetic and considerate person in German?

9. A scrapbook filled with photos…

source: Decider

Of your ideal father figures. We all need inspiration sometimes. And we could all learn a thing or two from Bryan Mills and Pierce Brosnan, right?

10. A new pair of glasses

source: The Knowledge Hub

Maybe if you up his power, he’ll finally take notice of your achievements. Remember to get him two pairs, though, since he has a tendency to leave things behind.

That’s it from us!

Happy Father’s Day to all, with or without daddy issues! If you’re part of the latter, good for you. Now get off our page.

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