We know the wonders money can achieve. From justice to pleasure to fun, it seems that the phrase “money can’t buy happiness” is hardly relevant in today’s world of material goods.
But here’s the thing: The super-rich don’t purchase million dollar bungalows and leave it at that.
Curious? Check out this list of what the affluent can buy, because luxury homes and jewellery are way too mainstream:
1. Kidnapping insurance
Of course, as a publicly presumed “Very Important Person”, making enemies is probably inevitable.
That’s why some particularly influential individuals succumb to hiring the services of insurance companies to protect themselves and their loved ones in worst case scenarios.
Kidnap and Ransom insurance policies generally cover monies paid to kidnappers or swindlers, ransom loss in travel, and other expenditures arising as a result of an abduction.
Some policies start as low as $500 (RM2,199) annually, but the price quickly escalates.
It is determined by the type of coverage, the extent of benefits, the destination countries, and the amount of persons covered. A $5 million (RM21,990,000) policy that encompasses a year of nonhazardous commute could cost around $2,000 (RM8,796) in total.
While this may be the most necessary item on the list, it’s pretty mind-boggling how the wealthy have to watch their backs so scrupulously.
2. Pet cloning services
No one, regardless of status or worth, is immune to the despair that comes with losing a furry friend.
However, moneyed grievers have the option of preventing that feeling by simply purchasing an exact replica of their pet, with a cloned embryo that is then implanted into a surrogate mother, where it is fertilised and birthed… because sometimes, taxidermy just isn’t enough.
While reptiles and fish have not been introduced as options for cloning as of yet, ViaGen Pets, a licensed pet-cloning company, currently clones dogs for $50,000 (RM219,900) and cats for $35,000 (RM153,930) each.
Alas, what price can you place on everlasting companionship?
3. Gold pills that turn your faeces…. gold
Rich people have shitty days too, and some of them turn to “magic tablets” to keep them from floating around rock bottom.
These special pills, created by late artist Tobias Wong, cost $425 (RM1,869.15) each and are filled with 24-karat gold leaves to allow the person who has it all to straight-up ingest gold so that even the most sentient, least glamorous aspect of them is laden with luxury.
Or, in his own words, “turn their innermost parts into chambers of wealth”.
We imagine that taking a peek at the sparkling toilet water once you’ve relieved yourself may be a serotonin-providing experience that reminds you just how wealthy you are.
You know, just in case you forgot.
4. Caviar-infused vodka
Caviar or vodka? Why not both?
When you’re stacking up the digits on your pay check, you don’t even need to bother with the hassle of scooping silky helpings of the salt-cured roe into your mouth.
Well-to-do hedonists prize exorbitant alcohol mixtures such as the ever-popular L’Orbe Vodka x Caviar, which, according to them, is a delicate blend of buttery and nutty notes.
The company proudly boasts a lavish drink that provides an aroma of provenance through rich flavour, while highlighting the distinct characteristics of both treasured ingredients.
Prices range between RM689.89 to RM2,230.16 per bottle.
Access to extravagant comestibles are arguably one of the best perks to being wealthy, and this unassuming combo is proof of it.
5. Waste-analysing toilets
If you grew up in an average Asian home, chances are you’ve been told that the appearance of your poop can greatly determine your health. Some of us may have even been forced to peer into soiled commodes, hoping not to catch a glimpse of anything unusual.
Apparently, the Toto Wellness Toilet is the latest fad among well-off people, who seek to adorn their fancy bathrooms with an equally swanky and useful gadget.
The most popular toilet facilities are the Toto Drake II (2-piece) toilets, which cost around RM1,319.10 to RM2,198.50.
When you’re done with your business, the toilet simply texts your new health assessment and preferable diet plan to your phone…
Perhaps being judged by your toilet for poor lifestyle choices could be the little nudge you need to start eating your veggies?
6. Luxury ice cubes
A business in California sells “premium” ice cubes for RM1,429.03 for 50 cubes. This works out to nearly RM44 per piece.
Glace Luxury Ice claims that their product is superior to regular ice as it has been “filtered of minerals, admixtures, and other contaminants.”
Each piece of ice is separately carved and packaged in resealable bags with a one-way air valve to keep atmospheric air out of the pack. As a result, you’ll be able to fully enjoy your single malt the way it’s meant to be.
While it may appear to be a marketing gimmick, we must admit that there is justification behind this logic.
If the contour of a glass influences the aromatic quality of wine, adding an ice cube to a whisky glass must influence the notes on the taste, no?
7. Alcohol that has been poured over models’ breasts
Sex sells, and the world of the loaded is no exception to it.
G-Spirits is an alcohol brand that is frequented by those who seek lustful pleasure between sips of rich liquor.
The company sells vodka, whisky, and other alcoholic beverages that have been poured over models’ bare breasts (all consensual). They even go into detail about the models and discuss the distinct ‘flavour’ they add to the liquor- and yes, it’s legal.
As per their official website, medical personnel are present during the booze-to-boob splash regimen to ensure that the process occurs in a clean and secure environment with a clean and secure model.
The cheapest bottle, G-Spirits rum, sells for RM725.50.
We suppose it’s the classy equivalent of e-girls selling their bottled bath water online.
8. This guy’s bachelor party
We don’t even know where to start with this one, but it probably speaks for itself…
Well, if you’ve received some party inspo, or at least begun to see rich people in a new (strange) light, we’ll take the credit for it!