TAG Answers The Mysteries Of The Universe

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We received a very strange mail from the TAG crew today. This in itself shouldn’t be strange because those guys are strange. I mean DJ Bunga for example. What kind of a DJ name is that? One for an effeminate dangdut DJ perhaps. Whatever. TAG’s next indie electro zombie fest is on 24 April and it purports to answer some of the universe’s most perplexing questions. To truly comprehend both TAG’s genius, but largely its madness, we felt we had to reprint their mail here in it’s entirety. Read on.

“Hello TAGers,
Have you ever wondered just what it is that other people get up to in bed after a TAG night out, or why it is that some rakyat indie are kinkier than others? Well, worry no more. Malam Where Do Indie Zombie Nudists Keep Thei Hankies has the answer to every question you could ever have imagined, and quite a few more besides. Including:
* Is there a Brazilian bikini wax detector at BarSonic?
* Do top-shelf magazines discriminate against short Taggers?
* How many meat-eating lelaki lembut do you need to change a light-bulb?
* Does the etiquette of swinging extend to asking your mate’s girlfriend if she’ll iron your shirt?
* Do Penjara Kajang jailbirds make better lovers?
* Why is it called the TAG position?
* The word “rempit” was coined by a skinny Malay biker dude in Kampung Baru in KL.
* Is there such a condition as nymphomania or is it merely a cherished male Tagger fantasy?
* Is it really inadvisable for Taggers to have banana leaf rice before a BarSonic night out?
* Is it true that Eskimo men lend their wives to strangers?
* Do Puteri Umno members wear pink lingerie?
* What’s the origin of the “Yaya Papaya” phrase?
* Scarlett Johansson, Ashton Kutcher, Ben Liew and Simon Cowell all have twin brothers.
* You can only ever fold a  JUICE magazine page in half 7 times.
* Is Auntie Rosmah a cross-dressing zombie?

Have a good week.
Rakan Joget Anda.”

Hmmm. Yes. Questions we have all asked ourselves on frequent an occasion. Like why it is signed “Rakan Joget Anda” and not “Rakan Berdansa Anda”. We’ll be asking them that. We also like that even truths we never knew about ourselves are revealed. Like being folded 7 times or Ben having a twin. In all of our years of practising yoga and putting the evil eye on Ben we never knew that.

So if you need answers or have questions and fancy some “cili padi bass-humping slash human dynamo Ginette from Beat! Singapore” TAG promises to solve such adult conundrums and deliver music that will rock hard. Even Stephen Hawkin with his smarts and crazy vocoder can’t promise that!

TAG presents Ginette (Beat!) happens this Friday April 24, 10pm at BarSonic, Zouk KL and it’s free admission for indie nudists and zombies. Yay!

Image Failblog.org