Men Deserve Love Too (Even If We Don’t Always Say It Out Loud)

By Nizam Zaini  •  12 Aug 2025 in Last Word

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Growing up as a man, many of us heard it loud and clear, the simple sentence that says “men have to be strong.” From parents to relatives to teachers, men are always expected to be tough, hide our weaknesses, and always have the answers.

Crying or asking for help? That’s often seen as unmanly or embarrassing so we decided to keep it all inside.

But here’s the truth, men deserve love too. Not just the flashy kind from movies or drama but the everyday kind, the simple moments that remind us we’re cared for.

Like your brother texting “Adik, please take care of yourself” after a long hangout session, your mom cooking you your favourite food without asking, or a friend who just knows when you need to vent.

In traditional families, love often shows up as advice or reminders like “Don’t do bad things” or “Study smart.” We know it’s care, but as a man, it’s rare to hear someone say “I’m proud of you” or “It’s okay to feel sad.”

Because of that, many men, myself included, learn to bottle up feelings. Instead of saying we’re stressed, we just stay silent, hoping it’ll make everything better. And when someone does ask, “Bro, are you okay?” we often just say “Okay je” even if we’re not.

Love is not just for couples 

Not all love stories are about couples. Sometimes they’re about the people who stand by you through every plot twist in your life.

The friend who laughs at your worst jokes, the sibling who cooked you Maggi goreng in the middle of the night, your favourite uncle who still calls you “budak kecik” even though you’re 24. That’s love too.

Men might not say it often, but our love runs deep, it’s just that we express it in different ways. Sometimes through sarcastic jokes, sometimes through silent support.

Breaking the “tough guy” image

The good news is, times are changing. More men are realising that being strong doesn’t mean hiding feelings. Local artists, athletes, and influencers openly sharing their struggles are showing us it’s okay to be vulnerable.

Even our football heroes crying after big matches prove that showing emotions is human, not weak.

Being a ‘real’ man doesn’t mean hiding your heart. It means having the courage to be real, even if it’s tough.

How to show love to the men around you

You don’t have to be extra to express your love to the men around you.

You can just send a simple “Bro, how are you feeling?” text, tell your dad or brother you appreciate all they do, listen when they want to talk, no need to fix everything, and don’t hesitate to offer a hug or a pat on the back.

Loving yourself is part of being strong too

For a lot of men here, “being strong” means keeping quiet, pretending you’re fine, and carrying the weight alone.

We grow up thinking rest is lazy, asking for help is weak, and mistakes are something to be ashamed of forever but the truth is, strength isn’t just about enduring pain. Sometimes it’s having the courage to tell a friend, “Aku penat, weh.”

It’s forgiving yourself for the things you couldn’t control. It’s letting yourself take a nap on a Sunday afternoon without feeling useless.

No one teaches us that being strong also means being gentle with ourselves. Maybe because in this world, we are told to protect everyone else and forget that we’re human too, but we are, and we deserve love, even from ourselves, especially on the days we feel like we don’t.

To the men reading this, you deserve love and all the good things in this world. Let yourself accept it <3

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