U2 Must Die!

By Ben Liew  •  04 Aug 2009 in News

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Okay. I’m gonna level with you. I hate U2. No, that’s not true. Actually, I just hate Bono. He’s the most pretentious smug mofo on the planet and anyone who thinks otherwise probably believes in fairies as well. Women who find Bono attractive have IQ levels of retarded forest gerbils. And people who think that U2 is one of those self-conscious/socially-aware rock bands (like Green Day/Coldplay/*insert pasty-faced rock band’s name here*) who are out there changing the world should stop and read the following.

Apparently, I’m not the only who’s pissed off at U2’s pompousness. In U2’s own hometown of Dublin, protesters last week picketed the Croke Park stadium where the dismantling of the world’s most expensive and preposterous rock show, including a giant electronic “claw” that looks like a prop from The Matrix, required almost 2 days of extensive labour with industrial cranes and other mechanical behemoths. This of course, caused a whole lot more damage to the environment compared to other regular concerts that don’t have such extravagant props.

The aforementioned solid steel claw, which required 120 trucks to move it from show to show, is 164ft in height. On each of the claw’s four sides is a full-sized sound system with 72 separate subwoofers. Each side is powerful enough to amplify an entire stadium.

Wow. All that power just so Bono can croon “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for” in front of gerbil-IQ women? And to think, we almost put him in charge of the World Bank.