Confessions of a Cheongster #2: No Sleep Till Danok (part 1)

After publishing Confessions of a Cheongster, penned by an anonymous reader, we received yet another unconventional love story regarding a long-distance relationship. Originally over 4,000 words in length (covering several years of misadventure), we have edited this epic piece into two parts. Here is the first.

It all started innocently enough with my friend asking, “Hey bro, want to go up to Southern Thailand for some pussy action?” Okay, so maybe we weren’t so innocent. But we weren’t that young as well. In fact, this whole misadventure that spanned several years really changed my bros and I as friends. I don’t see them that much anymore, but I still remember what happened…

We all had good jobs but good jobs can be boring sometimes. We just banded up, Red being the leader sponsored our first trip, he was already a seasoned regular. There were two Chinese guys (Red and I), one Indian by the name of Brown, and one Malay by the name of Black. 1Malaysia, man! It was Black’s first time as well although he had cheong-ing experiences at other Southern Thai provinces via Padang Besar, Kelantan.

In total, I’ve been to Danok seven times now. Can’t say that I planned on it becoming my second home, but that’s how things turned out. After reading this story, some might say I kena jumpi or something. I can tell you, it was all my idea. The only dark force involved was my hamsap-ness.

The first rule is always – what happens in Danok stays in Danok; and I remember Red saying, “Don’t ever give your phone number to your girl, or there will be no turning back” which funnily, I did the complete opposite…

Off we went up north. We stashed up on condoms – boxes of it, liquor, cigarettes, little amounts of weed, all checked off our list. It’s easy to pass the border anyway. Immigration doesn’t bother to check at all, you could be smuggling sperm-whale phalluses and get away with it. Mind you this was about 8 years ago, before they found those mass graves at the border left by human traffickers.

So here we were at 9am in Danok, all tired as fuck as we walked over to our hotel. Red settled all them expenses except the girls which we were okay with (gentlemen’s agreement). A of couple hours of rest and off we went for a massage. I’ve been going to massage parlours and whorehouses for years, so all of this was nothing new to me.

There were a few roads that housed “farms” and it was quite funny. You would see a lot of women and with so many choices, the pimps were acting like fucking matchmakers telling you which girls would like you based on their hunches. My three bros got their girls. I went to another road which was closer to the border. There were only two “farms” on this road so I picked the girl that was the pimp’s least expected choice. A very demure, fair-skinned girl who didn’t look like the most ‘happening’ person in the crowd. I did this just to fuck with him ‘cause he thought he knew my taste. I’m no simple assed chigga.

After a late lunch and bit of sight seeing, I headed back to my room. My room was a suite with a living room hall, so all of my bros gathered in my room to wait for their girls to come. One by one, the girls came over and they left to their own rooms, and then my girl arrived. I was able to converse basic Thai with her. Man, she was pretty – long haired, big eyes and nice tits. She was only 19. After exchanging kisses we got straight to business.

That hour itself we had sex twice. That day? 6 times before dinner, thanks to Red Bull and chicken essence! But something really clicked between us. I’ve never liked girls who are too clingy but this girl was just genuinely caring. I could feel her warmth, and that wasn’t a physical thing.

I told myself never to get in a messed up situation with a prostitute but I soon put that thought behind me. So we fucked, bathed, slept, repeat. When it was close to dinner time one night, Red called and we planned for dinner. Now here’s an advice, always feed your girl, don’t let her starve.

We went to a fancy restaurant, Red was splurging on lots of seafood to up our libidos. I got to know her more. She was very attentive when I revealed more about myself. I thought to myself that she was the best decision I had made this year. How can I equate picking the right ‘ho to making the right life-decisions? Well, some people compare a Galaxy to an iPhone. Why the fuck would you want to compare fucking phones? They’re just fucking phones! People are dumbasses who can’t get their priorities straight, if you ask me.

Soon, we got back to the hotel. She sucked my nuts and I doggied her all the way to kingdom come (pun intended).

Later that night, we went to a club with all our girls in tow. The girls we had were Laotian and Burmese. My girl was Laotian and the girls in the club were Thais, pretty much all model-like. Now when you have your girl with you, try not to flirt with the others for both of them will surely fight by the end of the night because it’s all about the cash, baby. That night it was cool.

Be sure you have good friends. Don’t go to Danok with dickheads. I had an asshole from our group who got cheated by a girl, lost a few thousand bucks to her and never had sex with her. Serious shit. It was a different trip with my bros and this douchebag just decided to tag along. He hooked up with this flat-assed bitch and we never saw them. Doubt they even fucked. All I know is that Red had to loan him several thousand ringgit. I’m still not sure what for until today.

Back to us, now done with all the feng tau bullshit, we went back to the hotel and all of us gathered in my room, drinking and chatting. The girls were chatting about the customers they had. When the girls got drunk, they could get really wild. It was late I needed to fuck very much so I kinda shooed all of them out of my suite. I was fucked up but my dick was hard (thanks to the fried oysters and chicken essence), so she rode me hard until my tip got sore. This girl was awesome, she took care of my money when I had to tip the people in the club and all in, just asked me to pay for her snacks. She didn’t need that many things to survive.

The next morning all of us explored the town and I booked her for another day. That day, we pretty much spent our time in the bed. She fidgeted my phone and I tried to speak Thai to her. In the afternoon I went out for a massage and she slept in my room. She told me not to worry about things going missing because she doesn’t do that. When I came back, energised, we fucked again, this time lasting almost 40 minutes, from rough to passionate… I was like, “What the fuck? Am I falling for this bitch or what?”

I’ve heard many stories about girls wanting to get their fix, which is why they tend to go back to their farms (even if they’re fully booked for the night) just to get a hit, but luckily she wasn’t into drugs. A “good girl,” I thought. That night, she made a few calls to her family back in Laos. She was the only hope for her poverty-stricken family. Even my friends said “Dude, she likes you very much, you must be fucking her good.” I counted the hours with her till I got back to KL, I just didn’t want it to end. What was I thinking? Getting into a relationship with a prostitute? Why not? If you’re a fuckin’ gangster, you should be taking care of your people, and even a prostitute is a human. I got friends who married Thai girls. Perhaps I should give it a shot.

On the day we left, we exchanged numbers. She asked me to come back soon and I told her to take care of herself. It happened just like that, at that moment, saying goodbye, I knew I was into her more than any of my past relationships. I was in a spell of some sort, but from the look of her eyes, she was so into me as well.

We fucked again right before we checked out. Crossing the border, she called me. She said she would wait for me and I can’t wait to smash that pussy again. After 3 weeks, all of us made another trip to Danok again. She promised to make time for me. Well, because there were hundreds of girls in that area, only about 30% got picked most of the time, so maybe it wasn’t that hard for her.

She didn’t get any customers aside from me till the next trip. During the 3 weeks apart, we bonded through phone, I got to know her life more than expected and I was slacking from work and my relationship with my girlfriend. I was like a man on a mission, willing to go through potential war zones just to be with her. And willing to start a few wars of my own…

All pictures shown are for illustration purpose only.

No Sleep Till Danok (part 2) will be publish next Friday. Read the first Confessions of a Cheongster feature here.